i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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