fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
