I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
