I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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