hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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