dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
