i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
