ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
