this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
