Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
