Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think people are normalizing furries
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
