it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
