i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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