i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
