No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
