Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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