I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
