She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
