you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
