i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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