this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
