I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
