maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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