sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love having hate sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
