She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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