Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
