There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
