so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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