after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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