I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
