long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
