I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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