Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
