You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
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the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
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She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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