Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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