think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
