Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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