He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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