Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
