im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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