I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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