But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm passing your future prison.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
