During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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