in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
