we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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