Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
