He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
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Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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