You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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