Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
