Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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