don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
