i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
