Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
