it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
