I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
