How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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