I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
