Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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