You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
